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Only in Jiu-Jitsu

Here are five gross things that all you bjj players can relate to:

1.Mystery Blood. You know when you are rolling with someone and you suddenly look down at your white gi and see little spots of blood. Is it yours? Is it his? Does it belong to the other girl you were training with? All action stops as you and your partner methodically search your bodies for tiny cuts. (This happened to me today. Total buzzkill.))

2. Mystery Hair. This is mostly a no gi problem. Similar to the above situation only there is no searching. Instead you try to pretend everything is normal and then shower immediately after class. (PS: It always, always looks like pubes. It's not of course. That would be disgusting.)

3. That little piece of something on the mat. Ya'll know what I'm talking about. Is it tape? Is it a piece of (ewww) dead skin? Is it alive? No way am I touching it. Lets just roll around it and hope it doesn't attach itself to our gi like a barnacle. Oh crap, where did it go??

4. When Sweat Attacks. Yes training is hard, sweaty work. And believe it or not you actually stop noticing how sweaty everyone is. Unless you are on the bottom of the mount and your opponent is frantically trying to choke you, and, while both of you are breathing heavy, a tiny bead of sweat falls from his face directly into your open mouth. Yup there is no adapting here. Just move on.

5. The dude (or gal) with the unwashed gi. Listen, we've all been the stinky person in class. Sometimes training was a last minute decision and you didn't have time to wash it. Hopefully you at least removed it from your bag after the last session and hung it somewhere airy. Like your backyard.

Not mine. I don't have a backyard. Thank you Google.
Hey, sometimes you honestly did wash it but it is that gi that you have had a bit too long and no matter how much detergent you use the minute sweat hits the cloth it is all over. So you are allowed one free pass, one day of stinkiness. That's all. Use it wisely.

To those of you who are saying "Hey, this post is going to discourage people from trying jiu-jitsu!" I say that it is a testament to how truly awesome the sport is that I endure all of these things on a regular basis and still love to train.  Yes that is right, even swallowing someone else's sweat is not enough to dampen my spirit. This stuff is that much fun.

Jiu-Jitsu, I adore you!

Enjoy your lunch, people.


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