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I Resolve to Continue Kicking Ass

So this morning, the lovely Chrissy of "Life with Grayson and Parker", wrote this: "So many New Year's Resolutions are under the assumption that we are broken. We are doing life all wrong. So much of life already promotes those loathsome feelings- It's exhausting. Life is hard enough..."

I've always liked the idea of getting to start over every January. But, that Chrissy has a point. Who came up with this resolution idea anyway? I know, to celebrate this joyous holiday I will sit down and think long and hard about all of the things I hate about myself. But that's not good enough. I will then proceed to write them all down on a piece of paper that anyone in the world could see. And now that I have really cemented them into my mind, and I am feeling good and horrible about myself, I will change the title of the list to "things I want to change this year". Nothing about how I am going to accomplish those changes. Just here is why I suck, this year, I need to change that.

Is it any wonder that we are all so depressed in February?

Instead, on December 31st, I think we should all make braggy lists of how absolutely fabulous we are. 

Happy New Year everyone, I AM SO AWESOME! 

This past year I once again managed to not kill my daughter by forgetting to feed and water her, or dropping her on something pointy. I even found the time to do some homework with her (she can READ now!), make a bunch of bracelets out of colored rubber bands, and play a few games of Yahtzee. I got that mom thing down to a science. 

I did a lot of training. And then didn't. And then did again. And then messed up my shoulder and couldn't move for a few days without crying. But then I got back on the mats! And then got lazy again. But there was that two weeks when I went to a class every single day. Lets just pretend I did that all year. 

I spent a lot of time trying to be in the moment, to not stress about things that I could not control, to be patient with the things that take time to resolve (like the aforementioned shoulder injury). Despite what the wise Yoda might think, sometimes it is not so easy to "do or do not" and you should get some credit for just trying.

I taught a lot of tiny people karate. 
I hope they don't hurt anyone.

I started eating less carbs, in particular the yummy gluten- filled kind, like bagels. I did not do this to lose weight, but to try to gain more energy and to work on some digestive issues that I have had on and off for years. I am now one of those freaks who eats eggs and bacon for breakfast every morning and puts a pat of grass-fed butter in my coffee. (Yes, I put BUTTER in my COFFEE! And whatever you are thinking, believe me, I thought it too. Then I tried it.) The full effects of this diet still remain to be seen, but so far I love it. 

By the way, if you told the December 2012 me that someday she would bake gluten free cookies (and LIKE them) she would laugh her ass off. What a difference a year makes.

I wrote a lot of blog posts. Some of them were really good. Some of them, not so much. (Like this one, I'm not impressed.)  If you read them all anyway, thanks. I will bake you some delicious sugar free, gluten free, dairy free cupcakes. With an S written on them. That S stands for "smug as f**k", which is how you will feel while eating them.

See how incredible I am? And in 2014, I resolve to just keep on kicking ass.

Ok, fine. I will admit that there are some things I could have done better. I suppose there are a few changes I could make that might make 2014 an even better year. 

That training thing? Yeah, I could have worked a bit harder on that. All those times I was sitting by the wall in BJJ class, pretending I needed a break, when I really could have done another round (or three). All those times I left early cause, well, cause I wanted to. All those times I sat behind the desk at the dojo watching Netflix when I should have been on the floor. Yeah, that. Do that less.

If I spend more of my free time writing, or thinking, or doing anything other than watching reruns of 90210 and playing Candy Crush, I might actually get smarter. And then I could cure cancer. Or at the very least, be able to remember the drills we learned in class last month. Thank goodness Direct TV is getting rid of Soapnet. (Those of you who have no idea what I am talking about did better in 2013 than I did. Go have some champagne and celebrate your awesomeness.) 

That being in the moment thing? The letting go and trying to not control everything stuff? Yeah, that. Do that more. And a little meditation wouldn't hurt either. 

I'm a pretty good mommy. I could be better, though.

Chloe (the dog) could really use some longer walks.

There are a few other things, some of them a bit too personal for the Internet. But lets just say that I do have a list after all. A "I totally rock but here are some things that would make me just insufferable" list.

Go make yours. 
Or even better, I'll make it for you.

Drink more water.
Eat less bread.
Work less.
Play more,
Start training somewhere, anywhere. 
Slow down.
Smile more.
Put your phone away. Seriously.
Stop doing what you are supposed to do and start doing what you want to do.

Oh and try these cookies, they are awesome:

Happy New Year! Try not to get too drunk.


  1. I did the same thing. I was PROUD of what I did in 2013.

    I have been working crazy on my handstands. I went to BJJ more days than I ever have before (112?). I worked with kids for the first time AND then landed a great university gig that starts in 1.5 months. I was able to move more easily. Life was awesome, and 2014 looks even better.


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