Skip to main content

A Dog, Career Day, and How Is it NOT Wednesday Yet??

Sometimes, when I am trying to come up with things to blog about, I reread my old posts. I suppose you could say it gives me perspective. Sometimes I reread my old posts for no other reason than because I can. (Meeeeeeeeee!) This morning, while browsing through March of 2013, I realized that I am, much like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, about to relive the exact same week all over again. 

Last year, at this time, there was a Sensei/Kyoshi promotion going on. Maya was getting ready for Career Day at her school. Chloe (the dog) was trying to eat my breakfast. (

Today is March 24th. This afternoon Maya and I are going to splatter paint on one of my old shirts so she can wear it this Wednesday for Career Day. (This year, she wants to be an artist.) And then, Wednesday evening, we begin another Sensei/Kyoshi promotion. Another year, another bear to subdue. (

(Chloe, obviously, has not changed a wink.)

This year it is a little different of course, because it is actually my promotion. 

So I have to fight the bear.
Among other things.

I am not really nervous about the karate part. I know karate. I will most likely make a few mistakes, due to nerves and the fact that it is past my bedtime. But I do not mind, I am not expecting perfection. It is the unknowns that put a knot in my stomach. Like my shoulder, which is entirely unpredictable. Some mornings I wake up and feel great, other times I can barely turn my head to the left. Training, sleeping funny, or simply riding the subway can set it off. I won't know what I am working with until Wednesday afternoon. 

Also, these damn kids keep coughing at me. Teaching class is like a scene out of 300, with germs flying through the air from every direction.  That and the fact that Spring in NYC seems to mean 25 degrees and windy, means there is a very good chance I wake up with the flu. There is not enough Purell in the world to combat a snot-ridden four year old who chews his fingers in class.  (His name is Jake. He is really sweet. And germy.)

Did I mention its cold outside. Also, we might get some snow. Which means the dojo is going to be freezing. You know what is great for sore neck muscles? Sitting on the floor for 3 hours in a cold room. 

We also have three students going for first degree black belt this week. They are rock stars and are going to be fabulous, but that does not make me any less nervous for them. 

You know what is great for sore neck muscles? Sitting on the floor for 3 hours in a cold room, while feeling slightly tense the whole time. 

All complaints aside, I think this week is going to be great. If it would just get going already. I thought that Wednesday was just the day after Tuesday, but now I am pretty sure they added a few more days in there just to mess with me. Seriously, this has been the longest week ever.

Yeah, I know it is only Monday. 
That's the point!

Right now there is nothing to do but wait. And train. Very, very carefully. And try not to breathe on the subway.

Here is a bear:

I am thinking of jumping on his back and attempting to choke him out, BJJ style. 

What do you think?

P.S. Anyone have a machete I could borrow?


Popular posts from this blog

November 20, 2018

This morning, while out walking my dog, I watched a mother put her young boy onto the school bus. "Have a good day," she said. "Listen to your teacher."

The boy, who was about five years old, replied that of course he would, although it was unclear which of his mom's wishes he was agreeing to.

Listening. So and so is a "good listener." We talk so much about it, but many of us have no idea how to actually do it., so caught up in the words inside our own head that it is almost impossible to hear anything else. Yeah I am listening to you, but not really, I am really thinking about the next thing I am going to say. I am listening to you, but not really, because even though you know an awful lot about this, deep down my egotistical brain still thinks I know better. I am listening, but not really because even though you just showed the technique in perfect detail three times, and I swore I was really paying attention, somehow when it was my turn to drill it…


For the past two days I have been feeling sick; an obvious side effect of spending so much time getting breathed on by small, germy children. This morning I was feeling much better, but not well enough for BJJ, so I decided to go to a yoga class instead. Turns out I was not quite well enough because about halfway through class my body was like, "Hey you, sick girl, you are kind of tired, this feels kind of yucky actually. How about you spend some time in child's pose instead."
As a lifelong athlete I am really, really good at getting messages from my body. I am less skilled, however, at actually following them.
This was not a difficult yoga class. But for me, today, it was impossible. My brain really did not like that. As I sat there with my eyes closed, breathing, the ever helpful voice in my head was saying things like "Everyone must think I am so weak. The teacher must think there is really something wrong with me. I should push through anyway. This is pathetic.&qu…

Roller Coaster

Its the roller coaster that gets me. The fact that you are just going along, doing your work, slowly climbing up, everything is going exactly according to plan, then Zoom!, down you go, fast, maybe not all the way to the bottom again, maybe somewhere halfway, but man you got there FAST! And now here we go again, back on the slow climb.
Some days it feels like you are doing everything right, you are busting your ass to accomplish all of your goals in every way that you know how, yet things just aren't going the way you want them to. On those days it is easy to get angry at the world. Don't you see I am doing my best here? Don't you see how hard I am working? OMG just get the f&*k out of my way! Stop asking for more of me! Can't you see I don't have any more??
But the thing is, that down part, it is on the track. It is part of the ride. it has always been a part of the ride. We knew if was coming, we could see it at the top of the long climb up. We didn't know…