MAMA: Adventures in Martial Arts and Motherhood

It is Spring Break again, that wonderful time of the year that means topless drunken antics for some and all day playground antics for others. (Guess which activity is mine!) Not me. Yup, my kid has no school. All week. I bet your kid has no school either. For some of you this means holiday camp and playdates and trips to Florida. For us it means movies and playdates, more time at grandma's house, a trip to Washington DC at the end of the week, and a lot of commuting from one martial arts school to another. We still have classes at our dojo for most of the week. And Matthew and I have no intention of skipping a week of BJJ just because there is no school. So Maya comes with us. Everywhere. Like today. Today Maya and I will be enjoying a delicious pizza lunch at L&B in Brooklyn, after which we will meet Matthew at his BJJ place and drive uptown to the dojo, where Maya will hang out, like she does every Tuesday, before taking her own class at 4:45 and then being picked u

Ok, blogging. Yup I had something to say. Now hold on, where is that laptop? Ok, now where the hell is my coffee? Great. OK, ready to blog. Am I still in the dojo? Or am I back in the dojo? Perhaps this is where I live now. Maybe a large coffee next time? Mmmm donut holes. Ok, get it together, you really had something you wanted to share with all your fine readers. Who is that small child? Ugh there's class today? What day is it again? If you were hoping for all the details of last night's Sensei/Kyoshi promotion I apologize. But as they say, what happens at Sensei promotion....So I won't tell you about the bear. Or the blue thing. Or what Shihan Monte's pajamas look like. Here, have a photo! Yes that is a clock reading 12:25. In the AM. The dojo clock. From last night. Where did that bear go? Does anyone have any fish? Being a part of this experience was a little like getting stranded at sea for awhile with 10 other people. It is long. And cold. And

Here is a description of the last five minutes of my life. I made a piece of toast and poured some coffee. Chloe (the beagle, pointer mutt who lives in my home) followed me to my chair, where she proceeded to sit a respectful five feet away and gaze at me with a pathetic, hopeful expression on her face.  Could I have toast please? I took a sip of my coffee and realized that it wasn't sweet enough. People who live in normal homes without live animals could just get up and get more Coffemate. Not me. I had to carry my plate of toast with me, along with my mug of coffee, put the plate on the counter next to me, pour some more vanilla into the mug, and then carry both items back to my chair, all without allowing my hands to drop below waist level.  Sounds like a lot of work to sweeten my coffee doesn't it?  Owning a dog is silly. Believe it or not there are other things happening this week besides black belt promotion. Today was Career Day at Maya's school and all th

Most of you probably read my post the other day about promotion. (If you didn't why the hell not??) But while driving home at 11pm last night, after watching two different sets of promotion candidates do their thing, I realized that I did not get it quite right. Yes it is true, I do not want more stripes on my belt. But it was only after watching the promotion that I could fully articulate what I mean and why. I got to go for my Shodan because I was training the required amount of years, knew all the material, and my instructor felt I was ready for the challenge. Same with Nidan. And Sandan. And Sensei, although by then it was also about being a teacher. Still, when the time came for each one of those promotions, I felt confident that I deserved it, that I was a better karateka than I had been at the previous one. That I had not just put in the time, but I had progressed, both physically and mentally. As I sat there last night and watched the two forth degree black belts (Sense

This week is black belt promotion week for us in Kenshikai Karate. On Wednesday, Friday and Sunday there will be numerous students testing for all degrees of black belt, from the magical first degree, all the way up to the rare and mysterious fifth degree (also known in our style as Kyoshi). Two students from my own dojo will be receiving their forth stripe this week, graduating to the prestigious rank of "Sensei". I remember my own Sensei promotion as if it were yesterday. It was my first one without my teacher, Shuseki-Shihan William Oliver, who passed away in November of 2004. It was a title that, despite my having over 15 years in karate at the time, still held a certain amount of power for me. Besides, Sensei means teacher, and I was running a dojo. I was responsible for making new karateka. So yeah, it was a big deal. We did a lot of pushups at that promotion. So many that Matthew ended up seriously damaging his arm and having to go to the hospital, missing the Su

I was talking with some of the moms after school the other day while our kids ran around the playground together. It was parent teacher conference week so I asked them how their meetings had gone. "It was good," one of them said. "I mean I don't really care if she does not meet the ridiculous standard they have for kindergarten nowadays." The other mom agreed. "Yes I am happy with how she is doing. I know her attention span is not great. But I don't want a kid who just sits quietly and does everything her teacher says. I like that rebelliousness.  I think it gives her personality." "Yeah. I don't really care how my kids do in school so long as they find something to be passionate about. That's what matters." And so on. You get the gist. I love both of these moms. They are fair, sensible, smart and very loving. My daughter has been to their houses many times.  I like their kids too and I do not doubt that they will do well in

"Look in my eyes, what do you see?  The cult of personality  I know your anger, I know your dreams  I've been everything you want to be  I'm the cult of personality.... I sell the things you need to be  I'm the smiling face on your tv  I'm the cult of personality  I exploit you, still you love me  I tell you one and one makes three  I'm the cult of personality ...." Living Colour It is an interesting time to be a martial artist, particularly a jiujitsuka. As members of Team Lloyd Irvin's infamous Medal Chasers run for the hills, and more and more stories surface about inappropriate business practices, and even worse, inappropriate sexual behavior (to catch up, go here:  http://georgetteoden.blogspot.com/2013/03/the-revelations-on-mma-underground-and.html), it is a good time to question how in the hell people get caught up in these kind of situations. Why would you sign on with a devious, narcissistic, cult-like BJJ instructor? Why would you

You know when you get a song stuck in your head? And it won't go away. Here's mine: "But I still wake up, I still see your ghost Oh, Lord, I'm still not sure what I stand for oh What do I stand for? What do I stand for? Most nights I don't know anymore..." Fun You're welcome. Feel free to pass it on. This week I auditioned for a show. It is called Listen to Your Mother, an annual collection of readings about motherhood, performed of course, on Mothers Day. The guidelines for the audition were simple. The piece you read had to be written by you, be about motherhood, and be under five minutes long. They said they were looking for compelling stories, ones that "only you can tell" Of over 80 pieces, they plan to pick 14 that "fit together in some kind of flow." Of course, my piece was about raising my daughter in a karate dojo. What else would I write about? I don't know how my story fits in with those told by other mothers. I