Skip to main content

Let Go, Move On, and Watch Out For Flying Rocks

Today my daughter hit a man in the head with a rock. 

 She didn't mean to of course. We were out and about in Dumbo, one of our favorite weekend hangouts, just chillin by the river, tossing rocks and watching the waves from the ferry boats crash. It was lovely and serene and all kinds of familial bliss until...

  "OW! She hit me!"
"I'm so so sorry". From my husband who instantly rushed over to see if the man was ok.
"Maya go apologize." From me. 
Maya, still shocked, walked over to the poor dude and said what I thought was a very mature and heartfelt apology. "Sorry."
"I'm really really sorry." 
That's my man again, the karate and jiu-jitsu guy. Who says fighters are jerks?

 The wounded guy, to his credit, did not get angry. Instead, he said it was ok and just walked away, rubbing his head and looking completely bewildered. I guess it is not every day that you get hit in the head by a five year old. Unless you have a five year old, in which case you are always protecting your head. And your groin. And your coffee mug.

 But I digress. It took Maya about five minutes of stunned silence before the whole thing sunk in and she  burst into tears. She cried for a long time.

 On the plus side, here are the valuable parenting lessons you can instill when your child hits a perfect stranger in the head with a big pointy rock:

  1. Sometimes when mommy and daddy say be careful it is not just random nagging. It is because not being careful can lead to people getting hurt. So look before you cross the street, don't torture the dog, and don't throw rocks too close to other people.
  2. It is ok to feel bad when you hurt someone by mistake. In fact, it is a good thing. People who don't care are jerk faces. You feel sad because you are a sensitive, caring human being who doesn't like to see others hurting. And that makes us very very proud of you.
  3. Accidents happen. Bad things happen. Say you are sorry and then move on. Learn to let go. Don't let one bad thing consume everything.
Umm....did I just say that?
Me, the person who can easily obsess for hours about one little mistake. Me, the person who can let a bad day turn into a bad night faster than you can say "where's the wine?". Me who tries to control every little detail of every little thing and then wonders why I lie awake at 3am with a million thought running through my head. 

Something about a pot and a kettle. 

Learn to let go. Don't let one bad thing consume everything.
I swear I actually choked on the words a little. And then laughed at myself. Which, by the way, is a huge step in the right direction.

I guess my daughter and I will work on these skills together.

 The moral of this Sunday tale is if you are ever here, in Dumbo Brooklyn, by these rocks...
..please keep your hands up.

I'm just saying.
Really sorry about your head, buddy. I hope you're ok.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rape is Not a Spelling Error

There is certainly no shortage of blog posts out there about Brock Turner and his terrible crime. Writers far more prolific than myself have dissected the entire case, have shamed the judge Aaron Persky, have expressed outrage at Brock's father's statements. So my addition to the pile is going to be nothing unique, but still I feel compelled to throw my two cents in. There are many reasons to be angry about this story; the latest in a never ending series of disappointments when it comes to our culture and the way we handle rape. But I am a writer. I focus on words. And there is one word that keeps coming up that really drives me crazy. Mistake. As in Brock Turner made a "mistake."  He got drunk, found an equally drunk, mostly unconscious woman, and oopsy, accidentally raped her.  Cause you know, alcohol. Here is the definition of the word mistake:  an action or judgment that is misguided or wrong. synonyms: error ,  fault ,  inac...
Post a Comment
Read more

Blogging About Promotion is Inappropriate

As a kids karate teacher I am often trying to get my students to not focus on promotion. Don't get me wrong, a new color around your waist is an excellent motivator. But I hope the kids will ultimately come to class because they love karate , not just because they are punching the clock (so to speak) on their way to a new belt. When I first started studying jiu jitsu it was all about the thrill of something new. I just wanted to learn how to do all these awkward techniques with their odd Brazilian names . I didn't care that I was a white belt, on the contrary I loved it. It had been a long time since I was a beginner. About 8-10 months into my training a bunch of the people in my class got blue belts. I knew I wasn't ready for a promotion yet. But still, when the woman who was my partner almost every day got her new belt tied on right next to me I felt a little wierd. Ok fine, I was a bit envious. She was definitely better than me, but she was not that much bett...
10 comments
Read more

November 20th

I am going to tell you a secret.  The name of your school does not matter. The patch you wear on your uniform does not matter. The belt you tie around your waist, the color of your gi, the medals on your wall, none of these things matter.  All that matters is the sweat on the floor. Period. I am not saying that you should not be proud of those things. You earned them and they deserve to be celebrated.  I am not saying that all dojos are the same. They aren't. But none of that matters. What matters is that you did one more pushup that night. When you thought you were done, you did one more.  What matters is that you kept fighting, even though he had you pushed up against the wall and for a moment there you were pretty sure he forgot who you were. He certainly forgot how small you were, yet you kept fighting, or at least you kept your hands up and waited for the bell to ring. You didn't quit. What matters is that you went to class. When you would really ra...
7 comments
Read more