Its the roller coaster that gets me. The fact that you are just going along, doing your work, slowly climbing up, everything is going exactly according to plan, then Zoom!, down you go, fast, maybe not all the way to the bottom again, maybe somewhere halfway, but man you got there FAST! And now here we go again, back on the slow climb.
Some days it feels like you are doing everything right, you are busting your ass to accomplish all of your goals in every way that you know how, yet things just aren't going the way you want them to. On those days it is easy to get angry at the world. Don't you see I am doing my best here? Don't you see how hard I am working? OMG just get the f&*k out of my way! Stop asking for more of me! Can't you see I don't have any more??
But the thing is, that down part, it is on the track. It is part of the ride. it has always been a part of the ride. We knew if was coming, we could see it at the top of the long climb up. We didn't know exactly how far down it was or how fast it would go until we got there, but we knew the damn cart was going down eventually. In fact, if we want to really take this analogy to its fullest, that downhill zoom is actually the part where people throw their hands above their heads and scream in joyful terror. It is the "fun" part.
Now I am not saying that your money troubles, your friend's illness, that giant white belt who smashed you, I am not saying that these are the fun parts. Just that maybe we could learn to throw our hands in the air instead of gripping the edge of the seat for dear life. That we could learn to scream in joyful terror instead of just terror. That we could learn to...please forgive me....go along for the ride?
By the way, I am the master of holding on. I hold on so damn tight it give me headaches. Also, I hate roller coasters.
But you get the point, right? The down part is inevitable. It was in the blueprints. But so was the uphill climb afterwards.
So maybe today we could just put one hand in the air? You know, just to see what that feels like?
Try it. Report back to me. I will be here with both hands gripping the seat, waiting for you to tell me it is safe to let go.