Skip to main content

Be Batman

I'm just going to be honest with you. We have been lied to. We have been lied to and we are still being lied to, every single day.

Oh don't get me wrong, bad shit is going to happen to us. Bad shit is going to happen to the people we care about, stuff that is simply unavoidable. Someone is going to lose their job. Someone is going to get sick. Someone is even going to die. These are the things that happen to us human beings in the course of a normal life. No matter how much we sleep, how few carbs we eat and how much meditation we do, we are going to have pain and we are going to have to go through it. There is no avoiding that.

But this other stuff? This stuff someone tried to convince us was normal?
It is bullshit. All of it.

The part about your body falling apart. About you not being able to do what you used to. About your sore back and aching knees being just "a natural part of aging." About how "everyone is tired all the time." All lies. Your back hurts because you spend all day sitting at a computer and your knees hurt because you never use your damn legs. You are tired all the time because everything you eat comes in a box and everything in that box is full of sugar.

The only real reason your body can't do what it could do when you were 25 is that you have given it permission to stop.

Don't feel bad, I used to believe it too. But then I stopped listening to that crap about exercise meaning a miserable hour on the treadmill that we "all hate but have to do." Exercise is play. It is dancing. It is running, outside, because you love to run, not because your Fitbit tells you to. It is grappling, basketball, climbing a mountain, anything that gets you off your ass with a damn smile. Stop believing those lies that men are only allowed to jog  slowly and lift weights and women to jog slowly and do yoga.

If you are going to run, run fucking marathons!

And all that crap about having to work a 9 to 5 job that you hate so that you can pay your mortgage or your rent or your cellphone bill? Normal, right? 

Wrong! Remember when we were six? And some teacher asked us what we wanted to be when we grew up? And I said a ballerina. Or an Olympian. Or a firefighter.

You said Batman.

Go be Batman! 

Of course we all have bills to pay. So if you have to work at Starbucks all day, at least when you get off work go be Batman. Go find some mats and play. Go to the courts and play. Go rent a studio and play. Get on a stage at an open mike somewhere and play.  Have kids to deal with? Take them with you! No one is better to play with than your kids. I know you think you are supposed to sit on the couch, open a beer and watch the game but that it only because you have forgotten how to be IN the game. Don't worry your son will remind you.

And you know how they convinced us that we are supposed to save our money for the big things? Like houses. Cars. Vacations. Instead of spending it on the little things like taxis, good sandwiches, glasses of wine.

Lies, all of it. Life IS the little things. Your two week vacation in Burmuda lasts for two weeks. Plus maybe a few minutes of reminiscing over Facebook posts a year later. Your life is what you do every single day! Your job. Your commute. Your friends. Your family. That is the stuff that actually matters. Spend your money on that.

Listen with all the bad stuff that is outside of our control, don't you think we should make some choices while we still can? 

Life is hard, ya'll. Its hard, and its sad, and its scary. But there is joy and beauty and peace and in order to notice all that you have to actually sit still for a moment. You have to pay attention. Otherwise, you'll miss it.

I know, I miss it all the time.

That crap that life is all about suffering until you can retire? It's bullshit. Life is not the vacations and the cars and remodeling your kitchen. It's the sound of coffee percolating and the smell of your kids hair and the taste of sweat on bare skin and the backseat of a taxi when it is pouring rain and your umbrella is broken and the feel of rocks on chalked up fingertips and it is love and it's tears and it is trying and failing and trying and failing and sometimes really really succeeding and you are missing it.

You are missing it.

Take an Uber to work.
Order the nicer wine.
Get up early and watch the sunset with your five year old. Better yet, give the nanny the day off and take your five year old to the zoo. Watch the gorillas. Remember how to be human.
Take a class on Tuesday
Take a class every Tuesday.
Take all the classes.
Finish that book. Start a new one.
Put your kid to bed. Smell her hair. Seriously, its awesome.
Sit on a park bench and listen to the sounds of dogs barking. Better yet, give the dog walker the day off and take your dog to the zoo. 
Be Batman.

Shut your phone off. Facebook is lying to us. The TV is lying to us. Our friends are lying to us.
Donald Trump is lying to us.
They all want us to think that this misery is normal because it makes it easier for them to stay on the couch.
Get off the couch.

You are not meant to be slowly crawling towards death.
You have just forgotten how to live.


Popular posts from this blog

November 20, 2018

This morning, while out walking my dog, I watched a mother put her young boy onto the school bus. "Have a good day," she said. "Listen to your teacher."

The boy, who was about five years old, replied that of course he would, although it was unclear which of his mom's wishes he was agreeing to.

Listening. So and so is a "good listener." We talk so much about it, but many of us have no idea how to actually do it., so caught up in the words inside our own head that it is almost impossible to hear anything else. Yeah I am listening to you, but not really, I am really thinking about the next thing I am going to say. I am listening to you, but not really, because even though you know an awful lot about this, deep down my egotistical brain still thinks I know better. I am listening, but not really because even though you just showed the technique in perfect detail three times, and I swore I was really paying attention, somehow when it was my turn to drill it…


For the past two days I have been feeling sick; an obvious side effect of spending so much time getting breathed on by small, germy children. This morning I was feeling much better, but not well enough for BJJ, so I decided to go to a yoga class instead. Turns out I was not quite well enough because about halfway through class my body was like, "Hey you, sick girl, you are kind of tired, this feels kind of yucky actually. How about you spend some time in child's pose instead."
As a lifelong athlete I am really, really good at getting messages from my body. I am less skilled, however, at actually following them.
This was not a difficult yoga class. But for me, today, it was impossible. My brain really did not like that. As I sat there with my eyes closed, breathing, the ever helpful voice in my head was saying things like "Everyone must think I am so weak. The teacher must think there is really something wrong with me. I should push through anyway. This is pathetic.&qu…

Roller Coaster

Its the roller coaster that gets me. The fact that you are just going along, doing your work, slowly climbing up, everything is going exactly according to plan, then Zoom!, down you go, fast, maybe not all the way to the bottom again, maybe somewhere halfway, but man you got there FAST! And now here we go again, back on the slow climb.
Some days it feels like you are doing everything right, you are busting your ass to accomplish all of your goals in every way that you know how, yet things just aren't going the way you want them to. On those days it is easy to get angry at the world. Don't you see I am doing my best here? Don't you see how hard I am working? OMG just get the f&*k out of my way! Stop asking for more of me! Can't you see I don't have any more??
But the thing is, that down part, it is on the track. It is part of the ride. it has always been a part of the ride. We knew if was coming, we could see it at the top of the long climb up. We didn't know…