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Less Google, More Arm Bars

I'm going to jump right to the finale. The moral of this little tale is that doctors don't know anything. 

Here is the short version. About three weeks ago I developed an itchy ear problem. I ignored it for awhile but eventually it got too annoying so I walked the two blocks to the lovely urgent care place in my neighborhood. There is never anyone in there so after about ten minutes I was on my way out with some antibiotic drops for an ear infection. Fast forward three days where now not only are my ears itchy but they are now hurting and feel like someone is constantly pouring water into them. Same clinic, different doctor. New prescription, this time for antifungal ear drops. Fast forward one week to where I now have slightly less itchy ears and a very itchy rash on my belly. Same clinic, different doctor. Hmmm, you seem to have an allergic reaction to something. (No shit, lady.) What, well it is hard to tell. You should stop using the drops and go see an ENT doc. Cut to me pouring some vinegar in my ears. (Seriously, I did that. You can blame Google.) Fast forward to a 78 year old ENT guy using a tiny vacuum in my ears and handing me a prescription for yet another ear drop which he says is mostly vinegar anyway. Followed by me sitting in a radiology office having a sonogram on my thyroid "just in case", although the doctor is pretty certain there is nothing to worry about. (Like 90 percent certain. Seriously, that is the number. WebMD told me that and it never lies.) And then I am lying in bed at midnight with an itchy back and suddenly wondering if perhaps the problem is actually the old humidifier that I pulled out of my closet about three weeks ago and is currently pumping moist, moldy steam all around my bedroom. 

Or CANCEBOLAIDS! It could always be cancebolaids!

It is New Years Eve day. Time for resolutions, those silly promises you make to yourself that you are certainly going to break by January 15th. In general, I don't do that. Mostly because I like my life. I am not all that motivated to make a list of everything that I am doing wrong because in fact I am pretty damn awesome! So in 2015 I vow to teach more karate classes, to enroll more students, to practice more katas, to roll with more people, to cuddle with my daughter, hang out with my family, kiss my wonderful husband and to eat and drink exactly the same way I have been all year. Because for the most part, I make good choices. Healthy choices. So yeah, I'm gonna keep doing that.

Ok there are a few things I would like to do differently. I would like to stop obsessively checking Google Maps to make sure there is no traffic that I might get stuck in. I would like to stop wondering if the subway is going to stop between stations and just enjoy the music in my earbuds. I would like to truly believe there is absolutely nothing wrong with me all the way until the exact moment a doctor tells me otherwise, since that exact moment will probably never happen.  I would like to stop using the internet to look up scary things and reserve it for only those searches that are truly useful. Like how to get mold out of a humidifier. Or what Snooki had for lunch yesterday. I would like to stop assuming that the reason Matthew is not answering his phone is that he is lying dead in the middle of the BQE. (It seems perfectly logical at the time.)

So in other words, I would like to let go a little and just live. You know, be all zen and shit. 

Aside from that, I'm all good. Bring it on 2015, I'm ready!

Happy New Year everyone! I hope your year is awesome!


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