MAMA: Adventures in Martial Arts and Motherhood

Yesterday I had one of those classic mommy exchanges. You know, the kind all the bloggers talk about. The kind in all the magazines. It was a holiday weekend so Maya was home from school all day. There was a man in my house installing cabinets at 9am. I had burny, itchy eyes and a sinus headache. Worse of all, I have been suffering from terrible insomnia for a couple of days, which always results in me becoming anxious and prone to obsessive thinking and random panic attacks. I was tired. I was stressed. I was distracted. But I wasn't hiding out in the closet. I wasn't lying in bed with my teddy bear. Nope, I was going about my day, anxiety and all. I took the dog to the park. I took Maya to the playground. We had lunch. When we got home from lunch, Maya wanted to play dress-up so I let her wear my old "sexy bee" Halloween costume. (On me it is a short, strapless black and yellow striped dress that hits about mid thigh. It came wrapped in a photo of a voluptuous woman...

About a year and a half ago, I took my daughter to see a neurologist to have her toe-walking habit evaluated. We arrived at the clinic fifteen minutes early for her appointment like we were supposed to, filled out all the paperwork, and then waited. And waited. Since this was a specialist visit in a place where she had an actual appointment, I had not come prepared and after about an hour Maya started complaining of hunger. Of course, I had no snacks. After an hour and a half I went to the receptionist to inquire as to what was taking so long. "I'm so sorry. The doctor is running a bit behind today." After two hours, I asked that same receptionist, the one who hadn't had the courtesy to inform me how behind they were when I checked in, if she had anything behind her desk that my 4 year old could eat. She rustled up a fruit cup and a chocolate milk. Finally, we were seen by the doctor, who of course apologized profusely. Maya was neurologically fine. Fast forward to ...

Those of you who know me well understand that I do not do stupid holidays. I abhor Valentines Day, a silly creation that exits entirely for high schoolers to demand roses from their desperate boyfriends and for Hallmark to sell cards. Since I have a child, I am forced to come home on February 14th with a stuffed bear and a box of chocolate but that is as far as I go. Why is every holiday about candy nowadays? Easter used to be about hiding eggs. Now it is about getting a giant basket full of sugar. Ditto with V-Day. Last week Maya's class celebrated Cinco de Mayo with some chips and salsa and a giant pinata full of candy. It was also her half birthday (May 4th) which she insisted on celebrating with cupcakes. Are we supposed to do half birthdays now? Isn't once a year enough? Matthew and I also celebrated our 7 year anniversary this week, with a cozy, child-free breakfast at one of our favorite local restaurants. French toast and hot coffee, a perfect, stress-free gift...

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?" Marianne Williamson I have been reading a lot of new blogs lately, most of them by women. (Although I did find two wonderful parenting blogs written by dads(!) Dads are awesome, especially ones that can change a diaper and string two words together.) But mainly I have been reading the stories of other females. Some of them are feminists, like Peggy Orenstein ( http://peggyorenstein.com/blog.html ), who writes about the dangers the Disney princesses pose to our little girls. Others are by my fellow jiu-jitsu ladies, like Julia who really gave me food for thought with her piece about male privilege in the world of BJJ. ( http://jiujiubjj.com/2013/04/23/male-privilege-in-bjj-a-primer/ ). All of these ...

This weekend my BJJ school had an in-house tournament, just for our students. It has been well over 10 years since I have competed in any martial art so there were a lot of things I had forgotten. Like how absolutely, positively exhausting your first round on your first time out there is. Between the nerves and the adrenaline, I was out of breath about a minute and a half into a 6 minute round, a fact which took me by complete surprise, even though I should know better. Thankfully, I managed to recover as the round went on and we settled down a bit, but wow! Competing in anything as a newbie, even a low-key tournament like this one, has all kinds of experiences that go along with it. The butterflies in your stomach as you wait for your turn. The frantic beginning. The sore muscles afterwards. The thrill of victory. The agony of defeat. The exhausted and slightly depressed feeling you get right after the last bit of adrenaline slips out of your body.  It has been a long ...

The little boys at our local playground have two games that they like to play. One is chase and shoot, a thrilling adventure that involves running at top speed while making machine gun noises and slashing through the air with imaginary swords. The other game goes like this: one boy falls down, the other boy jumps on top of him, a third boy completes the sandwich and then all kinds of grappling ensues. The latter game is awesome to watch and I often have to refrain from coaching. (Grab his arm, roll to the left, now get on top, get on TOP! Yes!)  Usually Maya is off with her own friends playing their odd combo of rainbow princess Star Wars expedition. But occasionally she becomes intrigued with the boys rough and tumble game, as do some of her other buddies. It was on one of these days when this gold medal parenting moment happened: Mom (to her 5 year old son who was grabbing at one of the young ladies): Hey, be gentle! You have to be careful when you play wi...